I should probably be working right now, but something happened today that made me think my time would be better spent writing this 🙂
I went to two yoga classes today. The first was my typical Thursday morning restorative yoga class. This particular class is my absolute favorite class that I attend. I have to work hard mentally in this class, whereas in other classes, I work hard physically. In restorative yoga, I work diligently to remain mindful and present. At the beginning of the summer, I really struggled to remain still and present during this restorative yoga class. Today, I noticed that I was able to be incredibly still and mindful throughout the whole class – quite the accomplishment for me!
After this class, I decided to stay for the vinyasa class immediately afterwards. It was the first time I had stayed for this class. I had heard that the instructor was challenging, and I had severely doubted my abilities at the beginning of the summer. But today, I felt confident. Ha! Confidence only gets you so far. I survived though. I did shake my head and laugh at a couple of the poses. I didn’t even attempt the flying splits. I prefer to practice challenging poses on my own, when I’m in need of a distraction from the craziness that goes on in my head. I find that in those moments, when I’m desperate for a release, I am able to achieve my fullest expression of the pose.
After class, I returned a phone call to a friend. This is the real reason I’m writing today. This friend is going through a lot right now and for the first time ever I was able to truly step out of myself, show compassion, and help someone else. Now, I do this regularly in my job, but doing this for my friends is difficult for me. I am a bit self-centered and I will listen for a few minutes, but then I usually go right into all the things that are going wrong in my life. Today, this was not the case. As I reflect on our conversation, I feel as though I gave the right amount of balance between advice and compassion. I was there for her when she needed me. I am grateful I had the opportunity and willingness to do that. As someone who has struggled with borderline personality disorder, it is amazing that I can sit here and type this knowing that I was able to get outside of myself and be there for someone else. It’s been a long time coming. My current therapist says that 95% of the time she doesn’t see my borderline personality tendencies…
Today’s situation makes me feel like maybe I’m over borderline personality disorder.
PS: I tried to get a picture of me doing flying splits for this, but it didn’t go very well haha. Instead, it’s one of my favorite restorative poses…and it doesn’t have a name. But you lay on your belly and elevate your legs on a slanted bolster. It’s the best 🙂