So if you haven’t read my blog before, you need to know that I have substance abuse issues, pretty regular suicidal ideation, and a few suicide attempts more than a decade ago where I tried overdosing on various medications. I have Complex PTSD and these past few weeks have been tough: more frequent dissociation, more suicidal thoughts, etc.

Well, I also have a fucking cold now 😒

So, here is a step by step guide for mindfully taking medication when you’re sick and you actually need it.

  1. Search for needed medication – in this case: NyQuil (Be mindful not to search too frantically because it will possibly trigger dissociation because it will remind you of a time you were frantically searching for drugs when you were going through withdrawal)
  2. Read directions of needed medication
  3. Measure out exactly what the directions say
  4. Let your significant other know that you are taking the needed medication and have them watch as you take the correct, specified dose
  5. Ask your significant other to put the remainder of the medication away for you (Mine knows to hide it so I can’t get up in the middle of the night and find more)
  6. Get into bed. Turn off your phone (This prevents you from contacting anyone that you shouldn’t be contacting while you’re under the influence of NyQuil)
  7. Go the fuck to sleep

Are you laughing at my mindfully medicating process? I am. Ha but really, I have to do this. If I don’t medicate mindfully, I will overdose or abuse the medication. Last time I was sick, I took an excessive combination of cold medications and ended up accidentally overdosing on Tylenol in the process. Whoops.