Today I talked to my marriage counselor about the details of my sexual abuse. She is only the second person in the world that I have shared those details with. It was hard. It was hard to be open and vulnerable with someone other than the therapist I’ve been doing trauma work with.
The purpose of telling my marriage counselor was really just to practice telling someone other than my trauma therapist. And also, if I choose to tell my husband the details one day, my marriage counselor can help me determine how to best do that.
I took her through the three most difficult memories. There were parts that were really hard for me to get through, but I worked really hard to stay present, and she worked really hard to help me stay present. At the end, she told me I did a good job, and who doesn’t like to hear that?!
Even though it was stressful, I feel this huge sense of relief. I did this; I was courageous today; and now I’m ok. I’m still cautious because anytime I go through memories, the flashbacks increase. But overall, I am so proud of myself for being courageous today.