I wasn’t able to go to a yoga class today because I took my toddler to her first dance class. I’m not going to lie, it was a hot mess! Whoever thought parents should sacrifice their Saturday mornings to take their two year old to a dance class was clearly smoking crack. It was basically 30 minutes of two year olds running around like squirrels on acid (or, for one sweet baby, clinging to her mama…probably terrified of my hyped up child who couldn’t follow a direction to save her life). I have confidence that eventually my kid will learn how to follow along in a structured class and will quit obsessing over the purple dot that she’s supposed to be standing on 🙂
It has been such a rough couple of weeks that I couldn’t not do yoga today. No yoga; no peace. I need peace. I am too fragile right now to not do everything in my power to be ok. The negative thoughts from last week are still not completely gone and I really don’t want to have another week like last week. I’m pretty confident that my shrink will eventually send me to psych if things don’t improve. And I don’t want that.
This evening, after my toddler went to bed, I spent about an hour working on my plank, vinyasa, and headstand (because you can’t think about killing yourself when you’re doing cool yoga shit – no lie, it’s fucking impossible). My dog decided to come over and start smelling me while I was in my headstand, which resulted in me falling over sideways into the window. Please laugh. I know I am 😂
I ended my physical practice in a bridge. This is one of my absolute favorite poses. I love backbends and heart openers. They make me feel invincible. When I’m in a bridge, I feel like I am releasing all of the strength that I carry inside for the world to see and feel. I can literally feel that stength radiating through my bones. I am strong.
I need #yogaeverydamnday to remind me that even during my darkest moments, I can still be strong. I can still be courageous.