There are only a handful of people that know me personally who I have opened up to about my struggles with PTSD. These people don’t know the details, but they know I’ve spent the last year or so working with a therapist on trauma work to try to heal from years of childhood sexual abuse. One of those people happens to be a co-worker of mine. Her and I work very closely together because we are the only two people in our company who hold the same position.
Today we had to attend training for the proper procedures for restraining someone. She actually was one of the trainers, and I had to attend. She knows that I really struggle with being touched by people I don’t know well. At some point, as we were practicing the restraints, she must have noticed that I was getting anxious. She decided to step in and be my partner so that I wouldn’t have the anxiety of being restrained by people I don’t know.
This seems like such a small thing, but for me, it was HUGE. A lot of the people I work with know that I don’t like to be touched and they often joke about it. I mean, a lot of people don’t like to be touched – that’s not an uncommon issue. But for me, it’s more than just not liking it. When people that I don’t know touch me, my anxiety goes up substantially. Even in yoga. It often takes me going to the same teacher for several classes before I become comfortable with them touching me.
So today, I am filled with gratitude for the people who continuously show their support in this process that I’m going through. How awesome is it that I have a co-worker who chose to be my partner so I wouldn’t be anxious during a training on restraint?!?! Sometimes I feel so incredibly alone when I’m doing trauma work, but then there are things like this that make me realize how awesome my support system really is 💜