It’s been a rough week, and not because of trauma stuff, but because of life stuff. I’ve had really high anxiety all week. It’s been so bad that some of my co-workers have asked me if I’m feeling ok. I’m so overwhelmed with everything I have to do this week. Working 3 jobs is so stressful, and this week it seems like each job is requiring so much of my attention. I can’t keep up. And today was one of the worst days I’ve ever had at work. I was forced to leave a meeting and completely humiliated.
When I get stressed out and anxious, my flashbacks get worse. Ok, so maybe some trauma stuff has been coming up this week.
Ugh I’m so fucking sick of trauma memories. I wish there was a way to get rid of them. I wish there was a way to forget them….that didn’t involve substance abuse.
It’s hard to find time for self-care when you’re working from 8-5, taking care of your toddler from 6-8, and then working on paperwork and things from 8-11. On the inside, I feel like I’m losing everything I’ve been working towards. I’m trying to keep it all together, but I can’t. I’m consumed by the fire…and maybe that’s just the way it’s supposed to be.