This morning, like I mentioned in my previous post, I took my cat to a shelter. It was incredibly upsetting. Then I went to a vinyasa class, where I was able to only focus on yoga and linking breath with movement for 60 minutes. In that one hour, I was safe; I was ok. Then I went grocery shopping so that we could eat this week. I’m starting to diet again – gluten free and low carb. I had to carefully read labels, so it took a little longer than normal. Overall, I was gone for 4 hours this morning while my husband watched our daughter. He said he was going to get some cleaning done while I was gone so that we could decorate for Christmas.
I got home around 1:30 to a house that was even dirtier than the one I had left 😩 Not only did he not get any cleaning done, he didn’t feed our daughter lunch, and he bitched about how exhausted he was and was super moody. I unloaded groceries, cut up apple slices for our toddler, and started cleaning while he sat in his recliner.
By 3:00, I had a lot of the counters and dining room cleaned and he had still done nothing. I put our daughter down for a nap and went to rest for a few minutes, thinking maybe he would get off his ass and clean something. I was wrong. Stupid me for having expectations. I get downstairs at 3:30 and he hadn’t done a thing.
So I left.
On my way out the door, I realized there were two police cars sitting between our house and our neighbor’s house. My stomach is in knots. I’ve never seen police at my neighbor’s house before, but they’ve been to mine plenty of times – including to arrest my husband back in June. He assured me that wasn’t the case this time, but who the fuck knows.
I couldn’t take anymore of his shit today. So, I’ve temporarily run away from home. I don’t know when I’m going back…or if I’m going back. I feel like my whole world is falling apart at once. The last two days have been so incredibly difficult. And even after a much-needed yoga class today, I really just want to escape everything going on around me.
Image from: http://www.sportsdirect.com/running