Trapped in a mind full of hate
Trying not to trust these lies
Searching for relief
Needing a way out
Frightened by the fire
The permanence is real
Time is up
You can’t save her
Alone and afraid
Support is fictitious
Expectations shatter
Vulnerability at its finest
But selfishness prevails
Left in the darkness
Hope is eliminated
As anxiety takes over

I think this constitutes as one of those rare occasions that I’m supposed to call my shrink. I haven’t been in this place since like September. But it’s 1am and here I am again. Of course calling your shrink at 1am is rarely a “good idea,” so I’m blogging instead.

I’ve used every healthy coping skill that I have; even checked my DBT cards to make sure I didn’t forget one. All I can do now is sit with the uncomfortable emotions of anxiety, pain, loneliness, fear, and disappointment.