Everything is harder when I’m anxious like this.

I spent most of the morning in bed, too anxious to make myself get up, but also too anxious to sleep. I did manage to go through some restorative yoga poses when I first woke up, but quickly found myself back in bed. 

I survived a grocery trip today with my toddler. It was so stressful. I counted inhales and exhales the whole time. This was an improvement over yesterday though, where I only made it about 5 mins in the store before having to leave due to anxiety.

Parenting is harder when I’m anxious like this. My toddler was up several times last night and now she’s currently refusing to take a nap, even though she’s exhausted. My patience is nonexistent this afternoon. 

I’ve found myself back in my bed – trying to shut out the world. I’m supposed to go to yoga tonight, but I’m afraid to go. It will be crowded, which adds to my anxiety. I’m afraid of having flashbacks. I’m afraid of feeling too deeply. I’m afraid I’ll go and it won’t make my anxiety better.

It feels like my whole world is falling apart right now. Everything is just too much. I can’t even work through one stressful situation before getting hit with another 😩 I just need the waves to stop. 

 Edited to add: I have to leave here in like 45 mins to make that yoga class….my husband isn’t home and won’t answer my calls or texts. If he doesn’t get home, I can’t go. Just when I thought my anxiety couldn’t get any worse…..


 Image from http://nocamels.com/2015/04/eco-wave-establishes-first-power-plant-in-china/