I went to my women’s sexual abuse group tonight. I haven’t been since August. I think the group does play an important role in my healing for a variety of reasons, but it is also very difficult for me. I dissociated at least twice in the hour-long meeting. I spent a chunk of the time just counting inhales and exhales and focusing on my three-part breath. This was helpful for a while.
Towards the end of the meeting, it was brought up that we are “captive.” And my breath was gone.
Captive. That’s it. I live in captivity because of my traumatic experiences. And that won’t change.