is not being able to breathe. 

I rely so heavily on my breath now. I used to get pissed at my shrink when she would say things like, “Use your breath,” or, “You always have your breath.” It agitated me to the extreme. However, now that I do actually use my breath all the time to help me regulate my body and mind, I really struggle when I can’t. 

Currently, I have a cold…again. I just got over a 12-day long cold. Four days later, I’m sick with a cold again. I am so annoyed and frustrated with life. I just want to be able to breathe the way that helps me! Because I can’t take good, deep belly breaths in and out of my nose, I am really having a much harder time regulating myself. I am on edge and my anxiety is heightened. I am struggling with flashbacks and staying present. And, in general, I’m just pissed off because I’m sick again. Thankfully, my husband is home at night now and he’s being helpful with our daughter. I’m trying to rest when I can and, hopefully, this will pass quickly.