I took today off of work for some much-needed self-care. I also have to take my daughter to the doctor because she’s sick…so there’s that. My favorite teacher was not teaching restorative yoga this morning, my shrink was subbing for her instead. I was actually ok with this because, even though I was looking forward to a class with my favorite teacher, I know that I’m safe in a class taught by my therapist. It also gave me the opportunity to work on using an eye pillow, which I did awesome with. 

I woke up anxious this morning after a slew of bad dreams. When class started this morning, I struggled to stay still and present. I did do this cool breathing exercise, which took all of my attention. Having something to focus on helps keep me in the present moment in restorative yoga. About halfway through class, I was finally able to relax. It was like my whole body just felt lighter. 

After class, I made the decision to stay for the vinyasa class afterwards. It’s taught by one of the ladies who leads my yoga teacher training. I felt like I really needed movement today. This class was perfect. I used to be afraid to take this class because I didn’t think I could keep up. However, today, I wasn’t afraid. I was able to keep up just fine and the movement was what I needed.

At the end of class, we practiced handstands. Well, I didn’t, but a lot of people did. I don’t like to practice cool yoga shit in a room full of people. If I’m going to eat it, I’d rather it be in the privacy of my own home haha. After practicing handstands, the teacher asked what we gain from doing handstands. I wanted to answer. I wanted to answe so bad! But I didn’t. I couldn’t find the courage to open my mouth. My answer:

You can’t think about killing yourself when you’re doing cool yoga shit. 

When you are practicing challenging yoga poses, it requires you to be 100% present. You can’t think about any of life’s shit when you’re practicing handstands. And that’s exactly what I need sometimes. 

My day of self-care has been perfect. I came home after yoga, took my dog on a walk (because it’s gorgeous out), ate pizza rolls, and binge-watched New Girl on Netflix. Ooooo I also got a $20 coupon from Athleta for my birthday!!!! I definitely need more days like today πŸ’œ