The dissociation has been so bad for these last 15 or so hours. I don’t know how much time I’ve lost, but it feels like days. I can’t tell if my trauma stuff is bad because my anxiety is high or if my anxiety is high because my trauma stuff is bad. I guess it doesn’t really make a damn bit of difference.

I’m supposed to be focusing on the positives, but right now I can’t focus on anything. Despite yoga nidra and essential oils last night, I still had nightmares about my sister being sick. I did do some restorative yoga last night, which helped me at least find my breath. Today I feel scattered and preoccupied with things that I’m not supposed to be thinking about. I’m trying to trust that these thoughts, feelings, and urges will pass; hopefully I make it that long….

On a more positive note, I love my dog so much. She is amazing. She hasn’t left my side since I got home from work yesterday. I can tell that she knows that I’m not in a good place right now. Everyone who struggles with mental health issues should have the opportunity to have a dog like her. I get more emtional support from my dog than I get from my husband 

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