I am sitting in a waiting room while my almost three-year-old daughter attends her first child-centered play therapy session. She has anxiety, manifesting itself in being stressed out over all things loud. While I sit in this overly-decorated waiting room (see the picture?), I can’t help but spend some time reflecting on the month of March.

Every year, I seem to really struggle in March. All of my suicide attempts have occurred in March. I went into this month so hopeful that things would be different, but really it wasn’t. Actually, the events of this March were probably worse than the events of last March. However, I want to take a minute to write about the positives from March and my intentions for April.

Positives from March 2017:

  • I got new yoga leggings from Athleta with a gift card
  • I had some success at work
  • My husband and I had a productive session in marriage counseling
  • I had productive sandtray sessions this month
  • I gained more awareness of the things I need to work on
  • I spent time with friends from yoga teacher training
  • I did a hot stones restorative yoga workshop
  • I did ok during the 13 days that I didn’t see my therapist
  • I found a used swingset for my daughter’s 3rd birthday for $100
  • My 29th birthday was really good
  • I started going to AA meetings again

Intentions for April

  • Find at least 1% more of my badass self
  • Work through at least one trauma memory
  • Communicate more of what I need
  • Try to find the “middle,” and acknowledge and sit with emotions before going to extremes 
  • Work through the issues I’m having with my therapist