Today is 500 days without cutting.
501 days ago, I was making more than 20 cuts across my arm…several of which should have had stitches.
The journey to getting to Day 500 was not “easy.” Getting to Day 500 required me to work harder than I’ve ever worked before. I had to learn to trust my therapist, be open and honest about the things that I’m thinking and feeling, and make a conscious effort to use healthy coping skills on a daily basis.
In the last 500 days, I have worked through countless traumatic memories of childhood sexual abuse, I have worked on accepting these events and releasing the shame that goes along with them, and I have worked on learning to prevent dissociation and flashbacks. At times, I have had to learn to be stronger than I ever thought possible.
One of the things that has helped me overcome the constant anxiety that I live in is yoga. Without yoga, there is no way I would have made it 500 days without cutting. When I had hard trauma sessions in therapy, yoga was there. When my husband got arrested, yoga was there. And when I was so anxious that the only “logical” solution I could come up with on my own was suicide, yoga was there. Yoga saves my life on a regular basis. 501 days ago, I did not think I would ever be going through yoga teacher training. But now, at 500 days, it seems only appropriate that I am in yoga teacher training. I am eternally grateful for yoga and the peace, strength, and hope that I am able to find within myself as a result of my practice.
It is with so much gratitude that I celebrate 500 days without cutting.