Today the anxiety consumes me. 

I am anxious about so many things… I know that none of them even deserve my attention at this present moment. But I can’t get my body to understand that. My tummy hurts and I’m shaking and I can’t focus on anything. Every time I stop, I can feel my breath – shallow and rapid. I try to slow it down but it always goes right back to the way it was. 

Today my husband, who seems legitimately concerned, asked me how long I had been feeling this way. I said I didn’t know… He said he knows it’s been at least 7 days. He said that and I wanted to cry. He’s right. I need this to get better. 

I’ve used a variety of coping skills this week:

  • 3 yoga classes
  • Restorative yoga at home
  • Reaching out to friends
  • Doing nice things for myself
  • Writing about extending  compassion to myself
  • Breathing exercises and tip-tap fingers or whatever my shrink calls it
  • Blogging
  • Walking my dog
  • Focusing on the positives and the present moment
  • Trying to set up opportunities to go out with friends

I’d hate to see how bad the anxiety would be if I had used no coping skills. However, I feel completely defeated at this point. I don’t understand why I am so anxious and I can’t make it go away. Seriously it feels like I’m dying. I need to feel “normal;” but instead I literally feel like I’m drowning in anxiety 😩