I’m in a not so good place tonight. It’s not as bad as it was in March… at least not yet. Things with my husband are bad again. And in therapy tonight, when my shrink talked about how I essentially have post traumatic stress surrounding this business that he opened behind my back that then failed, I lost it. I am so fucking tired of having post traumatic stress. I don’t want to live like this anymore. My therapist wants me to find and cling to my inner strength, but I just want to curl up and die.
When I get in these places, I know that I need to make a gratitude list. So, here is mine for tonight:
- My yoga family – and all of the interactions that I had with them today
- Flowers: planting flowers this afternoon helped me stay in the present moment
- My daughter – her smile and genuine kindness make the world a better place
- My experiences and the impact I’ve had on others
- My therapist – I know that there is nothing I can give her to repay all that she has given me these past 23 months.
In the picture, you can see the flowers I planted today.