Today I drove several hours from home to visit a yoga studio. This isn’t just any yoga studio. The teacher I took class from this morning makes the bolsters that I use! For me, it was like meeting a celebrity.
The class that I took this morning was good; challenging but good. It was a Ropes Wall Yoga Class, which I had never done before. My favorite part was hanging upside down from the ropes. Being inverted is the best thing ever in my opinion. Why? Because you can’t think about killing yourself when you’re doing cool yoga shit. When’s the last time you’ve made a plan to kill yourself while hanging upside down? Yeah. That’s what I thought.
What I wanted to tell this yoga teacher was that her bolsters literally save my life. I have one at home and then I typically use the same one at the studio I attend. When things become emotionally stressful for me, I curl up onto my bolster in a restorative child’s pose and cry. It is really the only time I feel 100% safe when I cry. I know that my bolster is there to support me. People are unreliable. My bolster is not. When I am suicidal, I often find relief and comfort in my bolster. It allows me to process through all of the yuck that clouds my mind. My bolster is my lifeline.
Today has been a long and exhausting day, but worth it. I have one more yoga class before I head home. 💜