Alarm goes off. 

3:10am.

Rush to get ready. Bags packed. 

Do I have everything? What if I’m forgetting something? Why isn’t my husband getting up? We need to leave in 20 minutes! I know I’m forgetting something.

We make it to the airport. 4:10am. 

We wait for a shuttle. 4:20am.

Walk into the airport. One TSA checkpoint open in the entire airport. The line is huge. Bigger than I’ve ever seen. 

My anxiety is instantly at a 10. The plane leaves in an hour! We’ll never make it. We’re going to miss our flight!

The noises surrounding me are instantly magnified. We should have gotten here earlier. There is a lady working for Delta… her voice shouting over the crowd… my ears hurt. The shaking starts. I can’t make it stop. My husband tries to make jokes to lighten the mood, but it just agitates me. We’re not going to make our flight. I can’t do this. 

I try to find my breath. I can’t find it. I tap my fingers together. Breathe in 4; breath out 6. The anxiety consumes me. My husband makes a sarcastic remark: “Don’t get us arrested.” It isn’t funny. I try to use my skills. The anxiety is more than I can handle. 

We get through TSA at 5:09am. Boarding begins at 5:15am. 

As I sit on the plane, waiting for take off, a whole new anxiety has started. What if we crash?!?! 

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